There’s an eternal debate that crops up when it comes to dating advice for men. It’s the question of looks.
“Exactly how important are your looks?”
Camp A claims that women are into genetically perfect giants with blindingly white Colgate smiles, popping six-pack abs, and pecs you can bounce rocks on.
Camp B claims that genetics don’t matter at all and it’s all about personality.
Here’s the cold, harsh truth: looks matter. But not in the way you think!
Men are much more attracted to woman’s genetics, while women put greater importance on your OVERALL presentation.
To women, there’s more than just whether or not you have piercing blue eyes or Scandinavian cheekbones.
Gentlemen, this is good news!
It means you don’t need to be good-looking to attract women, but you DO need to look good.
“Wait a minute, what? That’s confusing!”
Let me explain.
There’s a difference between being good-looking and looking good.
Being good-looking is about your genetics, while looking good is about how you present yourself.
It’s about your presentation.
Grooming is one of the most important aspects of your presentation. And the best part is that it’s completely within your control.
As John Benos says, “You might not be the most handsome man in the room, but you can become the best-groomed man.”
I couldn’t agree more with his statement. In fact, it’s one of the reasons that made me want to contribute a guest post to his site.
I’ve been coaching introverted men for more than 20 years on how to attract women naturally, without losing their integrity, and one thing still keeps astonishing me:
Men are so into dating techniques and game, but many of them forget to put any effort into improving how they look.
They don’t get that by improving their presentation, every step of the dating process, from hello to bedroom, gets much easier.
That’s why I’d like to share with you seven ways that grooming will boost your dating life.
1. Grooming Makes You Aesthetically More Attractive
When I started writing this article, I wanted to put this one last because it’s so obvious. I wanted to start off with one of the other reasons, so I could differentiate myself more from what other people say about grooming.
But in the end, I decided to put it first anyway.
Because, let’s face it, grooming has a direct impact on your aesthetics. Aesthetics are part of your overall presentation and one of the things women notice first.
Choosing the right hairstyle and trimming your beard the right way can make your face look more symmetrical. The more symmetrical it looks, the more attractive it looks.
When you are well-groomed, you’ll notice that your interactions with women go much more easily. They’ll contribute more to the conversation. You’ll get more spontaneous compliments.
Heck, if you groom really well, women will even start conversations with you. No kidding! If you have a nice beard, there’s a good chance that some women will walk up to you and start touching it. How’s that for a conversation starter?
2. Grooming Builds Your Self-Love
How can you expect a woman to love you if you don’t love yourself?
This is one of the cornerstones of our philosophy.
When men want to improve their dating life, they start looking for magic pills.
“What’s the best pickup line to use? What tricks can I learn to build attraction? What games, gimmicks and routines are there to make her desire me?”
But what they don’t realize is that all the dating tricks in the world won’t help them if they don’t love themselves.
You might be thinking I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. Women have a sixth sense for this.
They can see it in your micro-expressions on your face and in your sub-communications. No amount of game can hide this from a quality woman.
That’s why one of the first things I teach my clients is to develop self-acceptance and self-love.
Grooming is perfect for this. Every time you groom yourself, you are taking care of yourself. You are showing yourself that you love yourself. It sends a strong signal to your subconscious mind.
If you make grooming a daily ritual, you’ll improve your self-love a lot, which in turn will make you more attractive to the ladies.
3. Grooming Makes You More Assertive
This works in the same way as developing self-love.
When you groom yourself, you take care of yourself. You invest time and attention in yourself.
Through the psychological law of commitment and consistency, you’ll start to attach more importance to yourself.
We have a tendency to protect more fiercely those things that we attach importance to and that we are invested in.
When we attach more importance to ourselves and are more committed to ourselves, we have a tendency to be more assertive. We become less tolerant of people that cross our boundaries, and we communicate those boundaries more often and more quickly.
Assertiveness is very attractive to women. It signals to them that you’re a strong man.
If you are not able to stand up for yourself, how are you going to be able to stand up for her when the shit hits the fan?
4. Grooming Increases Your Status
If you’ve been reading dating advice even for just a little while, you’ve probably heard about the term pre-selection. Pre-selection states that a woman can’t help but feel a powerful feeling of attraction for you if she knows other women are attracted to you.
It’s one of the most common topics in dating advice.
But did you know there is an even more powerful attraction trigger?
It’s called status. Status is the most potent and most powerful attraction trigger of all.
Since we were living in small hunter-gatherer communities, women have been attracted to high-status men. If a woman mated with a high-status male, she would have access to food, resources and protection from the tribe. This meant her chances of surviving and the chances of her offspring surviving would increase.
Throughout millions of years of evolution, women have developed an attraction switch that gets triggered when they see high-status signals in men.
Grooming is one of those high-status signals.
Grooming signals that you are a sophisticated man. It signals that you have access to special knowledge. More importantly, it signals that you have the time to learn about this and to take care of yourself. That implies you have your life under control, and you have the necessary resources to invest time and money in to this luxury.
It signals that you are part of a small group of elite men that get it.
5. Grooming Makes You Look Healthier
Did you know health is an important attraction trigger?
Yep, it is!
The healthier you look, the more attractive you are.
Good grooming will improve your skin and make your hair look shinier.
Good skin and shiny hair are signs of health.
6. Grooming Increases Self-Confidence
It’s no big mystery… most guys understand that coming across as confident with a woman is critical for getting noticed and sparking those first feelings of attraction.
Yet they neglect this incredibly low-hanging fruit called grooming.
The more you groom yourself, the better you’ll look. When you look good, you automatically feel more confident.
Plus, you’ll get compliments from friends, family and coworkers. This in turn increases your confidence even more.
7. Grooming Gives You Control
The final reason grooming is so great is because it gives you control. You might think you’re not that good-looking, and that might hold you back from getting the kind of success you want and deserve with women. You might rationalize to yourself that it’s beyond your control because, “Hey, it’s just the way I look, I can’t change that!”.
Well, I have news for you.
That’s a myth! You can improve your looks through grooming… a lot!
Grooming gives you back the control that gets you out of a possible Victim Attitude.
It really does. Proper grooming, combined with good fashion, can easily increase your attractiveness by two or three points!
Realizing that you’ve got the power and control to make yourself more attractive is often enough to kick-start your dating life!
Grooming is one of the easiest ways to increase your attractiveness, both on the outside and on the inside.
Grooming is one of the key things you can do to turn yourself into that powerful, confident, in-control man that women go bananas for.
Besides grooming, there are many mental tools and techniques you can use to accelerate your transformation into a truly confident, high-status man.
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About the author: Nick Neeson is the world’s leading dating coach for introverted men and the highest-paid dating consultant on the planet. He founded Introverted Badass to help intelligent, introverted men become badass with women, without losing their integrity. Introverted Badass is the market leader for introverted men looking to improve their dating skills naturally and without using lies, tricks, or manipulation. Go to IntrovertedBadass.com/The-Manliness-Kit-Special Bonus/ to get a special bonus package related to this post. This bonus is exclusively for readers of The Manliness Kit.
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