You’ve been growing a glorious beard for the past months.
Is it years already? You’ve got my utmost respect.
You reached your beard goal and now you’re proudly looking at yourself in the mirror. The definition of masculinity is nicely wrapped around your face.
And now comes the sad news.
No matter if you want it or not, it comes the time for many men to shave off their beards.
Not all men are ready to let go.
But sometimes, no one asks you before it strikes. You just have to go through with it. And you need to do this alone.
The lonely and shameful beardless walk…
In this article I try to include all these compelling (?) reasons that would force a man to let part of his manliness die.
Live separate from his beard. Let it spread its wings and fly away.
Some of the reasons are backed by very-very serious research and data that may convince you to shave your beard off while others may not be… very-very serious.
Without losing any more time, let’s go ahead and see the most plausible reasons why you would shave off your awesome beard.
1. Weather is not on your side at the moment.
Summer is the season that most men shave off -or at least trim, their beards and there’s a good reason behind it. Wearing a beard under the hot sun isn’t the most comfortable thing.
You face feels as if it’s covered with blanket and you also sweat like never before.
Brave beardsmen, however, keep their beards during summer no matter what. But are you that strong?
2. Beard care takes way more time than you could imagine.
If you’re not among those guys that do nothing about the good state of their beards, you must be doing at least half of the following:
- Wash your beard.
- Condition after washing.
- Blowdry it.
- Comb it or Brush it.
- Apply beard oil at least once per day.
- Tame it with your beard balm.
- Style it with beard styling products.
- Groom it with scissors and beard trimmer.
- Trim it at your desired length.
- Shave the cheekline and neckline.
- Lastly, store all the above products somewhere.
See now what I mean?
3. Since when was it expensive to maintain a beard?
Are you doing all these stuff that I just mentioned to groom and maintain a healthy beard?
All these tools and beard care products don’t come for free, do they?
Wait a few more days and I’ll do a similar article for shaving.
4. You reached your beard goals.
Beard goals mean something different to each guy.
A beard goal for some, may be a yeard (beard + year). As the name suggests, someone grows a beard for one year until you shave it off or maintain it at a particular length. Similarly, there are guys that might have set 2 yeard or 5 yeard goals.
Another goal could be the maximum length your beard can reach. And this is something that is determined by your genes.
All guys can grow a beard until a certain length, which varies among all guys. Once you reach that, there might be no more beardcentive (Beard+Incentive). That’s a new word that I invented.
5. You lost a bet.
It was your fault. No one asked you to bet your beard in the first place. Time to suffer the consequences and accept what’s coming.
6. Your beard isn’t as thick as you wanted.
Not everybody can grow a very thick beard. Some guys accept it and style their beard accordingly (and successfully e.g. Johnny Depp) while others won’t do it.
Going back to shaving?
7. The company that you work for, doesn’t allow facial hair.
In the corporate world, not all companies accept facial hair and even less likely, beards.
Unless you want to change jobs, this is the best time to consider shaving your beard off. Tough decision but necessary for some men.
8. Skincare issues.
If your face is overly dry, having any type of facial hair will make your skin flakes more visible than ever before either flying around or being stuck on your beard.
It’s not the most pleasant picture, but happens quite often.
9. Your woman complains.
If you have a wife/girlfriend that doesn’t enjoy being in contact with your beard, she might convince you to shave it off.
Unless you want your woman unhappy, you’ll proceed accordingly.
10. You want to look younger.
It’s very common for guys that wear beards to look older than clean shaved. Even though it adds some more manliness points to your style, shaving your beard off will make you look much younger.
The older a man gets, the younger might want to appear.
11. Got tired of paying attention to beard length.
Grooming and maintaining a certain style of beard can be quite tiring. All this precision and trimming every time you want to groom your beard might have worn you out.
Shaving your beard, apart from being careful not to cut yourself, doesn’t require any sort of precision.
Think about it!
12. Food should either end up in your mouth or stay in your plate.
How many times have you tried to eat something and ended up on your beard.
Even worse, when was the last time that you tried to eat soups and got your beard soaked wet?
13. Got fed up with kids pulling your beard.
If you’re dad or uncle, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.
Kids have more fun stroking and pulling your beard than playing video games on PlayStation.
14. Enough with the Santa Claus costumes.
Every Christmas is the same thing. You’re the number one candidate to wear the red costume. In the beginning you thought it was because of your weight but after you lost a few pounds, you saw the brutal truth.
No more Santa Claus!
15. Bed beard will be a thing of the past.
Does this sound familiar? How many times have you woken up and you thought that your beard has its own personality.
Facial hair here and there but not at the direction that it’s supposed to face.
Shaving off your beard doesn’t sound so bad after all.
16. No more old ladies starring at you in the metro.
Unless you’re wearing a suit, old ladies will surely stare at you and your beard.
It’s definitely their thing. You get the impression that they get the underground just to look at beards. Not to mention if they’re with friends.
You enter the wagon, and there you have it. Two to four eyes (old ladies usually go out in pairs) staring at your beard as if it’s the first time that they actually see one. It just doesn’t get old for them.
No matter how many times they see someone with a beard, you won’t get it out of their minds that you won’t steal their purses.
17. Blowdrying your beard is a thing of the past.
For a beardsman, blowdrying his hair is not enough. You’ve got to do the same thing for your beard.
How many times during the winter you were late in your appointments/dates just because you had to blow dry your beard?
A clean shaved face doesn’t need that. Food for thought…
18. Want to feature in a Gillette commercial.
You want to become the next Gillette star? Besides being good in sports, you also have to shave.
Assuming that you’re good in sports, isn’t it a pity to lose such sponsor?
19. Can’t jump through rings of fire.
You want to start a career as a stunt man. You’ve got the skills, you’ve got the bike but you’ve got a beard.
How are you supposed to ace that jump through the ring of fire if you have a beard?
20. Enjoy a drink.
When was the last time that your entire drink ended up in your mouth and not on your beard?
21. Beards have poop in them.
It’s not me who’s saying it. Your complains to the writer.
22. Get rich by shaving off your beard.
If the above reasons, didn’t convince you, maybe money will. The data shows that 98% of the Forbes 100 list of the world’s richest men are clean-shaven.
If 98% of the world’s richest men are clean shaved, do you want to take your chances?
Then you’ve got only 2% probability to succeed.
Shave with a razor and you’ll have 98% probability to get rich.
And yes, apparently I know how to interpret data.
23. Your woman is not feeling safe.
Scientists say that shaving off your beard make women feel safer.
So, are you still wearing a long beard?
24. Less adventurous women are intimidated by beards.
I know that you only care about adventurous women, but why would you limit yourself in only one type?
Apparently, women find guys with beards less attractive compared to clean shaved. More specifically, women think that guys with beards are:
- 38% less generous.
- 36% less caring.
- 51% less cheerful.
Ball is in your court.
25. You don’t want to be a minority.
In the U.S., beardsmen are in the minority. Only about 33% of American men have some sort of facial hair.
Which side are you on?
26. You want to become the next 007.
Imagine that the director of James Bond has to choose between a clean shaved British guy and you.
Have you ever seen agent 007 with beard?
27. You want to fight in a close combat.
Alexander the great was forcing his men to shave off their beards before every fight so their enemies won’t be able to pull their beards.
Now, if you’re planning to get into a close combat, would you want to be in a disadvantage?
28. No more Chewbacca style.
Guys with high hair growth will understand.
Shave your face and you’ll stop sporting the particular style.
29. Beard attractiveness reached its peak.
Believe it or not, there was an actual research which has shown that the more guys adopt beard style, the less attractive to women beards are.
Still not shaving off your beard?
If you have any other reason to getting rid of your beard that might be more compelling (or not) than what you’ve read, feel free to include it in the comments.
What’s your reason for shaving your beard off?
Image Courtesy: flickr.com/corinandkat